Contemplating a cold

I am sick with a runny nose. If I didn’t blow my nose and sop it up with a tissue every few minutes, would it keep on draining out and fill a bucket?

I am reminded of a guy that worked in the mall during the time I worked at the Apple store. He was small and slim, shiny black hair, very plain and often wore gray clothes. He would come into the store and hover over one of the laptops that was always connected and free to use and look up exotic Chinese or Indonesian or some kind of Asian websites. The first time I saw him his nose was running and I was trying to be nice and not stare, but he just let it drip out. I wanted and didn’t want at the same time to know and not know if it was dripping right on the computer but I just smiled and silently threw up inside my head.

Because there is free turkey dinner, plus my daughter and grandchildren at her house I would stay home in bed, but I have to go. Haven’t been there for over a month and can’t plan my stupid oncall schedule around when and what I want to do with the normal people who aren’t working for the ferry. I took a 3 hour drive over and back, over the inlet and through the woods, leaving grandmothers house behind. For the day. I was so tired I could barely climb the stairs. Awful. Is it being sick or because I’m old now?

I still can’t spin. The fiber gets all kinked back on itself and doesn’t wind on the spool. If I let go it just coils up. If I hold on it breaks. What the heck! I think I’m scared of it. I’m scared of ruining the fiber I have that I have saved from my dear old sheep for some reasons, like that I thought some day I would learn to spin and buy a wheel and now I am actualizing my dream of someday having one by having an electric one. But I’m a failure at it so far and a fearful failure at that.

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